I heard we made out
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my poor anus
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
