i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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