its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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