SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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