Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
