i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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