i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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