wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I cockslap morals
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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