One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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