I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
