It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
