i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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