Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
