my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize