Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
