doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
