No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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