Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
