I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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