Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
