Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I still have a little drunk in my system
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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