so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
