R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
