oh god the rape fog is back!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
