the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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