Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
