Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
