nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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