I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
