mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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