Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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