Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
