Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
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