Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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