Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
