i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize