Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
