Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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