In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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