I feel great
I just peed on a car
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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