I should be sponsored by Trojan
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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