And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
