Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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