He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's always time for handjobs
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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