He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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