he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
