He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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