I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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