I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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