That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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