You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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