She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
