Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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