I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize