One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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