Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
