ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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